The dog's got gas, again.

Really, it's been over a month since my last post?? So much has been happening, I guess time just got away from me. I hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving. Mom, dad, and their friend Liz came up for the holiday. It was a great visit. We cooked, ate, and lazed around. Michael was home for most of the week. The weather was cold and rainy, but we weren't going anywhere so that was ok. The day after, while so many crazies were out shopping on black Friday, I was in the recliner nursing a cold. It was just a good, lazy day, until.....Holy crap, are you kidding me?? No, not today, I'm really not in the mood. But, there is was. The prelude to the biggest pain in the you know what of the season. In walks Johnathan with the wreath for the fireplace. Now, most of you might say, "So, Ho Ho Ho and all that." Oh no, the wreath is, like I said, the prelude. It's also almost 3 feet across, and needs to be decorated. I can't have a naked wreath adorning my fireplace. So, I wait for the next ball to drop. What's that I hear on the front porch?? Hubby with.....THE TREE. Anybody been to the Biltmore House in Asheville, NC at Christmas time? Well, one of their trees is missing, and my husband has it on the front porch. Why the front porch, you ask?? IT WON'T FIT THROUGH THE BACK DOOR. Now, some might think he's a little nutty for buying such a big tree, but he does it for the boys, and, well, I think that he's not a little nutty. He's a BIG NUTTY. Did I mention at this point I'm still nursing a cold and would rather give birth to an NFL linebacker than decorate the tree? Oh, I did? Ok, anyway, here he comes with the tree. Now, it is pretty, and he hoo dooed the man into giving him the wreath and tree for a measly $85. WHAT??? Ok, whatever. He's doing this for the boys, right?? So, up goes the tree. "What color lights do you want this year?" he asks me. He always gets to pick the color, but this year I wanted clear lights. The 693 strands of lights we have in the attic aren't enough, so, off to Walmart he goes. When I buy Christmas lights, I usually get a few extra boxes just in case on box doesn't work. Does he??? NOOOO. He strings the lights on the tree, and voila!! They all work, until he goes upstairs to get all the candles for the windows, and I, being who I am, decide I'm going to unplug one of the strands, just for fun. He comes downstairs to a 1/2 lit tree. Pretty funny, I thought. Now, it's time to light up the front porch. Yes, we are the Griswalds of Kings Mountain. Remember what I said about buying extra boxes of lights? Well, he hung the icicle lights across the roof of the porch and started on the columns. He got to the last column, strung them all and guess what? One strand of lights didn't work. Now, I'm not one to say "I told ya so" (actually I say it all the time), but "Told ya so!" Back to Walmart to get more lights. Long story short, the front porch looks pretty, and so does the tree. Except for that lean. It's just a little to, well, "unstraight". "Michael, that tree's gonna fall." "Nah, it'll be fine" was his response. "Michael, that tree's gonna fall." "Nah." Guess what happened last night at dinner, the tree fell. Yep, all 9 feet, decorated pine needle shedding glass ornament hanging tree. Crash. After the boys and I swept up my beautiful ornaments, we dragged the tree out to the front porch, and there it sits, waiting on Clark Griswald II to come home and fix it. Ho Ho Ho.

When your dog farts, does she turn and smell it and then run? Maybe it's just my dog. She doesn't have gas often, but boy, when she does. Holy cow. Run for the hills. So, I guess tonight will be one of those nights when I'll hear her all night long farting, smelling, running. Welcome to my world.

How am I feeling, you ask? Well, ok I guess. I'm still worn out every day. Preschool is keeping me busy, but it's a good busy. My joint and muscle pain is not getting better, maybe worse. My hair, however is thick and curly. It's still pretty short, but I've always wanted curly hair. I love it. I'm just glad to have hair!

Off to clean up dinner dishes. Be well, my friends. Be generous this holiday season. Share a smile, a meal or a hug. Just don't hug the dog, it may make her fart.

Oh No, Not The Pumpkin Lady Again!

Did you realize that earwax has an adhesive property? Really, it does. As we were sitting in church on Sunday, I noticed Mikey, who was seated to my right, had this orange-ish brown-ish funky stuff coming out of his ear. So, being the reverent Lutheran I am, I put my glasses on and jerked his head, by the earlobe, toward me so I could get a better look. All this during the sermon, mind you. Anyway, as I was peering at the funk, Johnathan leaned over and said, "Mom, what's that coming out of Mikey's ear??" "SHHHH", I replied. "No talking during the sermon!" Earwax protruding out of the ear canal is a huge pet peeve of mine. So, this morning, after his shower, I reminded Mikey of the, well, you know, funk. As I was cleaning his ears, I was reminded of what the doctor says about Q-Tips. Bad, bad, bad. Don't put those things in your ears!! WHAT??? How do you get the funk out without digging it out with a Q-Tip???
Anyway, there he was, poor Mikey, standing in his room this morning about 7:00, mom digging in the ears with a Q-Tip, all of this before breakfast. To my left is Mikey's waist basket. So, after cleaning his ears, I toss the brown-ish, orange-ish, chunky Q-Tip toward the waist basket. I missed, and hit the side of the waist basket. Instead of bouncing off and landing on the carpet, it stuck to the side!!!! Yep, that Q-Tip had enough earwax on it to glue those tile things back on the space shuttle. Welcome to my world, people.

So, at preschool this week, we are learning about the letter "J" and jack 0 lanterns. As a craft we are decorating small pumpkins that we've grown on a vine outside using magic pumpkin seeds. (Long story.) Well, we all know there's no such thing as magic pumpkin seeds, but the kids don't know that so I had to come up with small pumpkins. Off to Walmart, where else? I needed to buy 23 mini pumpkins, 17 for my class and 6 for the younger class. There were 2 enormous bins of them in the produce section with a sign reading 58 cents each. Yeah!! Cheap pumpkins! So, I started digging through the bins looking for the biggest ones I could find. Finally, after I loaded 25 (2 extra) little pumpkins into my cart, I push it over to the checkout. I went to the express checkout thinking the cashier would be able to scan one pumpkin and enter 25 quantity. OH NO! The checkout lady looks at me and says, "Those are 58 cents per pound, not 58 cents each." Seriously??? Back to the enormous bins I go, now digging for the smallest pumpkins I can find. The preschool's paying for these things, so I've gotta go cheap!! Have you ever pulled an apple or orange from the bottom? What happens when you do?? Yep, I had a mini pumpkin avalanche. I must've been there for an hour trying to prevent pumpkin spillage all the while trying to save the preschool a few bucks. What I won't do for those precious little angels in my class! Get ready, Ms. Melodie. We're breaking out the glitter tomorrow!!

Thanks for all the continued support. I go back on Thursday for my next treatment. Things are settling down and its seems as though I'm sleeping a little better. Maybe I'm on the way back. Stay well my friends. Remind someone you love to get a mammogram. You may just save a life. And remember, if you run out of superglue, come to my house. We'll clean Mikey's ears.

A Big Ol' Honkin' Pile of Dog Yakidge

I think the shower in the boy's bathroom is broken. This morning, when Johnathan got out of the shower, I hugged him "Good morning" and it smelled like he hadn't showered in a few days. When Mikey got out and, after getting dressed, he walked by me, it smelled like he hadn't showered in a couple of days. I asked Johnathan if he actually put the shampoo in his hair or just waved his hands over his head, hoping by osmosis that his hair would come in contact with the shampoo. "Of course", he said, "of course I washed my hair". It was as if I asked him if he had breathed today. After sniffing Mikey's head, I asked if any soap or shampoo came within 10 feet of him. Again, "of course, mom" was the obvious reply. Well, not so obvious to me. How can two boys who are both straight A students, smart, happy, healthy, be so stinky?? Trying to get Johnathan to actually wash his scalp is like trying to get a piece of popcorn out from underneath your dentures. (No, I don't have dentures.) It's almost impossible, but, again, healthy and happy boys.

I got up this morning about 6:15 and went into the bathroom to shower, turned on the water and walked into the closet where the hamper is for the dirty laundry. Suddenly, a strange odor began to penetrate my olfactory system, in other words, something stunk. I looked down at the carpet, and, yep, a big ol' honkin' pile of dog yackidge. The suffix idge comes from the Latin word meaning holy crap, what's that?? At preschool, when a child spills his or her juice the word "spillidge" echos throughout the fellowship hall. So, yakidge simply means puke. When we have a really big poop, it's "Clogidge" if the toilet won't flush. So, long story short, (I know, too late) I was steam cleaning the carpet in my closet this afternoon. No, I didn't leave the yakidge there all day, I picked up the huge mound this morning, but didn't have time to steam clean the carpet. After the carpet dries, I'll get down and do the sniff test to make sure it's clean. I know, gross, but who else is going to do it?? Ah, a mother's work is never done.

I'm still trying to figure out what to do with this purpose God has given me. I feel like I need to use this breast cancer for the greater good, but haven't quite figured out what it is I'm to do. So, it's an ongoing process. Maybe I'm just meant to badger women into getting their mammograms, who knows. If that's it, I'll accept it, but I think God gave me this big mouth for a reason. There's nothing worse than a Yankee living in the south with a big mouth and a purpose!!

Well, off to a meeting at church. Be kind to one another. You never know when you'll need someone to clean up some yakidge!

I Believe the Word You're Looking for is Esophagus.

Here it is, another beautiful fall day in North Carolina. All is well here at the Medlin house. I've decided I'm going to start running up and down the stairs. Maybe that will get my legs back into shape. I'm having such horrible weakness and pain in the muscles that I've got to do something. I guess I'll start slowly and hopefully within a couple of weeks they'll start to feel better. I just don't think I can do anything more strenuous than that. I know, pretty pitiful.

So, this morning Johnathan and Mikey were in the kitchen, supposedly getting something for breakfast, and I was on the computer. Well, all of a sudden, crying. Yep, not even on a beautiful fall morning can we have peace in the house. So, I get up, go into the kitchen and there is Johnathan, in a fetal position on the floor. Well, if you're a guy, you know what that means. Kicked in the bing bongs. That's the technical term for testibles. (No, that's not a typo. When Johnathan was little, he asked me what those balls were moving around "down there". I told him those were his testicles and he pronounced it testibles.) So, I looked at Mikey and, of course, not looking guilty at all, said, "He tried to choke slam me!". So, I looked at Johnathan, who was still in a fetal position, crying on the floor. "He kicked me in the crotch!" he yelled. After which I proclaimed, "There will be no more wrestling in this house!!!!" Here comes dad, yep, Michael, faithful husband and father to the two in the kitchen, one on the floor and the other looking as guilty as the dog who just ransacked the trash can looking for the steak bone. Well, we all know how fathers can be. Clueless most of the time when it comes to disciplining children, at least mine anyway. He tries to explain to Johnathan in his most disciplinary voice why it is not a good idea to try and "choke slam" his brother. What came out of his mouth was not only a gross mispronunciation but so funny that there was no way he had any credibility as a disciplinarian. "Johnathan," he said, "don't do that to your brother! You could damage his esockufus!!" WHAT???? Now, my husband has mispronounced quite a few words in his time, but that one takes the cake. I believe the word you're looking for is esophagus, dear husband. We laughed until we cried. So, for all of you out there who have never taken an anatomy class, it's pronounced esokufus. Holy cow, somebody help me.

Holy Snot!!

Cool air, finally!! I've been waiting so long for fall weather, it has finally arrived. We had such a blistering hot summer this year. Not only was it hot, but dry as dust. We're in a drought here in NC. That's not great news for people who have well water. It hasn't run dry yet, so hopefully we're ok.

Preschool is going great. Each day that passes I become more fond of each child in my class. One thing I don't think I'll ever get used to is the unending, unstoppable rain of snot that happens this time of year. At least 5 out of our 17 have constantly runny noses. Now, being a mom, I know that this kind of thing happens. However, I can't sit in circle time and look out at some of these children and ignore the candle hanging out of their noses. Please, someone invent something that will remedy this problem. If you give the child benedryl, then they're groggy all day, or worse, hyped up all day. So, drugs aren't the solution. Maybe this time of year we can hang a trough over their necks to catch the snot that drips down before Ms. Lisa says, "Baby, go get a tissue and blow your nose, please. And don't forget to wash your hands!!" Then, we could collect the snot and maybe sell it to NASA or the CIA. Certainly it can be used for some kind of industrial lubricant, or germ warfare. I'm telling you, I've seen more snot in my days at the preschool than there are Baptists sipping tea at the lunch buffet on Sunday. (I say that with much affection. I married a Baptist!) But, this too shall pass. This is why I carry a bottle of hand sanitizer in my work apron, as well as a pack of tissues. And for heaven's sake, sneeze into your elbow. That way if anything comes out, it will come out on your elbow, not in my face, especially if it's green and slimy!! So, again, preschool is going well. I think my partner, Melodie has gotten used to me and the mess I make at craft time. Today we made rainbows out of fruit loops and, yep, what a mess to clean up. I have a feeling she'll be getting me back the next time she plans the craft. She's great to work with, and oh so quiet. That's why we're great partners. She's quiet and reserved, and so am I.

Ok, next......Still having issues with my muscle aches. My quad muscles, I believe they're my thigh muscles, give me the most pain. If I happen to squat or sit on the floor with the kids, it's extremely hard to get up. My hands are still swollen, but not as much. The hot flashes are more infrequent, but still there. I'm sleeping better at night which helps so very much. Still worn out in the afternoon when I get home. Oh, funny thing, almost passed out this afternoon as I was changing our calendar for tomorrow. Would've been funny to see what the other teachers would have done if I did actually faint. I've never fainted before, but came pretty close today. My hair is getting thicker by the day. It's pretty wavy in the back which is kinda cool. Maybe by Christmas I'll have a little bit of length on it. I go to see my plastic surgeon tomorrow to have my stitches removed. Hopefully he'll tell me all is well. I'm still a little uneven. Left side is higher than the right, but it's supposed to settle over the next several weeks. Then I'm off to Victoria's Secret! Can't wait to start wearing a normal bra instead of these binding sports bras. As Charity reminded me today, they make you look like you have a uniboob. She said I didn't, but usually they do.

Lori and I took the kids to the fair on Sunday after church. They had a blast, but let me tell ya, I've never seen more scraggly headed, no teeth, dirty feet wearing flip flop pedophiles in my life. And those were just the fair workers! Listen, I'm all for being comfy and casual, but for pity's sake, put your teeth in before you go to work!! And for all you moms out there with daughters, don't let your little girl walk around the fair by herself, or with her friends until she's 45. Seriously scary people. But, we're all God's children.

That's all for today my faithful followers. Thank you again for all your support. And remember, don't let your babies grow up to be carnies.

Poor Big Teddy

Wow, has it really been so long since my last post?? Well, my second reconstruction surgery, last Wednesday, went well. Hopefully it will be my last. Lori and I got to the hospital at 6:30 am and I was home by about 10:30, I think. The pain from this one was virtually zero, and I'm a lot more even, so hopefully, no more. I was afraid I wouldn't be able to have the surgery due to my blood pressure, but it all worked out. Two days before surgery, I went in for my herceptin treatment and my blood pressure was 163 over 103. For those of you who don't know, yeah, that's high. So, my oncologist sent me directly to the heart center for an echo cardiogram to check for heart damage. Luckily there is none, but if the blood pressure was too high, my surgeon wouldn't operate. Lots of prayers later, it was 124 over 80 the morning of the surgery. God was listening for sure.

Preschool is going so well. What a great group of kids my partner Melodie and I have. Every day I become more and more attached. Even when, during grandparent's week, one of my girls told me that her nana was really really old with brown spots all over her, and "she's even older than you, Ms. Lisa!!" What a blessing it is to have such sweet, honest kids. (No more snack for you, Victoria!!)

The hot flashes seem to be getting more infrequent, or maybe I'm just getting used to them. My sleep patterns are improving. I'm not up for 3 or 4 hours each night, so I'm really starting to feel a little better. Maybe, finally, I'm coming out of this chemo haze I've been in for so long. The aches and pains are still there in the muscles and joints but, one step at a time. My hair is coming in thicker each day, and it actually is a little wavy. Maybe I'll even have curls by the time it's all said and done. Still too much gray, but thank God for hair color.

So, my children have somehow or another become interested in wrestling. No, not the normal wrestling, but tv wrestling, you know, the Undertaker and those guys. Well, every Friday night, my poor husband rushes home from Raleigh to watch wrestling with the boys. Like he has a choice. I gotta tell ya, if we ever catch Osama bin Laden, we should make him watch Friday night Raw, or Smackdown, or whatever it is, for his punishment. I think I'd rather watch the dog lick herself. It really is excruciating. Thankfully, they don't practice all the wrestling moves they see on tv on each other. Mikey, however has this big white teddy bear he's had since he was a baby. Poor Big Teddy. He gets the brunt of Mikey's wrestling moves. Whenever it sounds like a tornado is twirling in his room, we know poor Big Teddy's getting his. Slam!, on the floor, slam!, on the bed, slam slam slam!!! Mikey works himself into such a frenzy, he emerges from his room hot, sweaty, and stinky. Hello, Right Guard! How one little boy can smell so stinky is beyond me. And, oh my God, stop picking your toenails!! Anyway, I digress. I'm grateful to have smart, healthy boys.

Happy birthday to my bff Lori. She turns 40 tomorrow. We went out last night for a celebratory birthday dinner. There were 14 of us, kids included. They were pretty good for the most part, until one of them spotted what they thought was a Lamborghini in the parking lot. Then, we couldn't get them away from the window. Come on kids, just pretend everybody has a car that costs more than most houses around here! Turns out it was a Lotus. Imagine that, a Lotus in Blacksburg, SC. Whodaa thunk?? Thank you to Lori's mom and stepdad, and mother-in-law for a wonderful dinner.

Cowboys pulled out a win today. Finally...I've been in enough agony! Have a great week my friends. And remember, wrestling is fake, just like my new boobs.

Where Were You?

Where were you when you first saw the images of New York City 9 years ago today? Do you remember how you felt? Do you remember what you were doing and who was with you? I remember where I was, how I felt and who was with me. It's a memory etched deep in my mind, one that I will never forget. Of course, the news channels are re-airing the footage from that fateful morning again. I watched for a few minutes, but found it very difficult. My God, what were those people thinking on those planes? How terrifying it was for them. The anger and frustration that I felt that day arose in me again as I watched that awful footage. How dare you come into my country and commit such horrible acts against innocent people. What kind of heart does it take for someone to knowingly murder over 3,000 people? What kind of heart does it take to cheer, yes they actually cheered, as the planes struck the twin towers? How many children were orphaned that day? What will it take for people to live in peace.

My Savior died for me, He didn't ask me to die for him.

She's Baaaaack!!

Isn't it funny how God puts you where you need to be? A few weeks ago, I attended a Christian Ed. meeting at church. This was the first meeting of this kind I attended. Before we got started, I was informed that one of the preschool teachers had quit. School was starting in 6 days, and the preschool, for whom I was the director for 5 years was in need. I told the current director that I would be happy to help if she needed me. (I resigned two years ago because I thought my family and I would be moving to Raleigh where Michael and I have a business. That didn't work out, and here we are.) So, the next night, Pam, the director of the preschool called and asked if I'd meet her. Long story, yes, I know, longer not shorter, I'm the new pre-k teacher. How funny life works. I wasn't planning on working yet, still recovering and all. However, God had a different plan. My partner, Melodie and I have 17 students. Some of these children I've known since they were babies and some I've only known big brothers or sisters. Some are brand new to me. Already, they have a piece of my heart. Every time I get tired or have some kind of muscle or joint ache, I think, maybe I've made a mistake. Maybe I shouldn't be working so soon after finishing chemo. Then, a little face pops in my head. Usually it's Branson's and I think, no way am I leaving these kids. God put me here for a reason and I'm not quitting on them. Did you ever see the movie an Officer and a Gentleman? I remember the scene where Louis Gossett, Jr. is trying to make Richard Gere quit and all he keeps repeating is, "I aint quitting, I aint quitting!!" That's me. Richard Gere. I used to be George Clooney (with moobs), now I'm Richard Gere. I aint quitting! So, the Queen of Love and Beauty (yep, that's me) is back to stay. I'm looking forward to a great year with my new family, all 17 of them. Thank you to all my parents for sharing these wonderful children with me. It's gonna be a blast!

My hair is getting thicker by the day. Of course, so are the gray hairs. It's not growing as fast as I'd like it to, but I'm not compaining. I go back to see my plastic surgeon next week, and hopefully he'll agree with me that I need some tweeking. I'm still pretty uneven, but thankfully it's not noticeable in a sports bra and t-shirt. The hot flashes are still bad, but fall is just around the corner and I think the cooler weather will help. My hands are still swollen, most days I can't wear any rings, but that, too will pass. Just like a bad piece of corn.

Well, off to pick up the boys at bible study. Thank you, my friends for all your support. It means more than you'll ever know. Hug your kids tightly. One day they'll smell too bad to hug at all.

Attack of the Pasta Salad

So tonight I'm hosting Bunco at my house. If you've never played, you're missing out! My neighborhood and a few "outsiders" (you know who you are, and we love you anyway!) play every month and a different person hosts each month. Well, June is usually my month, but because of my health, I've not been playing or hosting. I've felt good enough this month to host. Usually the host is responsible for supplying drinks and everyone else brings food. I decided I'd have drinks (soda and tea) and pasta salad. I spent most of the morning cleaning (we'll discuss that later) and headed off to Ingles to buy the provisions. Ingles has a fabulous salad bar along with an olive bar and chicken wings, etc. I loaded up my little plastic container with pasta salad and head off to finish my shopping. Actually it was the big container, so it was pretty heavy. Along I go and I get to the cleaning isle. Tide is what I usually use but Wisk was on sale and "new and improved" plus it was $4 cheaper so I thought I'd try it. The pasta salad was on the bottom of the cart (buggy to you southerners) and I didn't want the Wisk to smush it so I picked up the pasta salad and oh my God, yep, it opened and emptied in my cart. Holy crap, pasta salad all over my groceries. Pasta salad on my scrubbing bubbles, pasta salad on my super glue (we'll talk about that later), pasta salad on my milk cartons. Pasta, pasta, pasta. So, think a minute. What would you do if your container of pasta salad, made with vinegar and oil, yes, oil, spilled all over your scrubbing bubbles??? Luckily, no one was in the isle with me so I quickly stepped over the Mt. Everest size pile of pasta salad on the floor and continued my shopping knowing full well that the security bubble in the sky saw what just occurred in the Tide isle. I had no choice but to tell the manager at the check out that there was an enormous pile of pasta salad in the Tide isle and that, yes, it was me who spilled it. Now, I'm not the most inconspicuous person these days. My hair is that of George Clooney, big nose and white t-shirt with huge navy blue letters spelling DALLAS COWBOYS. It's not like I can sneak back into Ingles without poor what's his name who had to clean it up say something like, "Oh no, the pasta salad lady is back." So, for all you who are playing Bunco tonight at my house, no word about the pasta salad lady or I'll pee in your tea.

You know those things on either side of the toilet at the bottom that cover up the screws that hold the toilet to the floor? Well, mine keep coming loose so I super glue them back down. Unfortunately, that's where all the little boy pee congregates, so this is not an unusual occurrence in my house. Today, however when I opened the super glue it unknowingly dripped down my fingers and yes, I super glued my fingers together. I managed to pry them apart but still have the residue on my fingers.

Besides all of this, I'm doing fine. Still have joint and muscle aches. I'm sleeping a little better because I've doubled up on my sleeping pill (my doctor said I could). My hair is getting thicker and the eyelashes and getting longer. I'm back working at the preschool this time as Pre-K teacher so I'm pretty busy during the week Mon through Thurs. God puts you where you need to be, and I guess I'm supposed to be back there. I love the kids and have really missed it over the last two years. I'm grateful for the opportunity to work with such wonderful kids, and hopefully will make a difference in their lives.

Be well my friends. You are all such a blessing to me. And remember, if you need pasta salad, make it yourself. It's safer that way.

I'm the alpha dog around here!

Ok, so I'm back. We've had a busy summer so far. The boys have enjoyed their summer. We've made a few trips back and forth to the beach, bible school, and of course spending time with friends and family. These last few months have really flown by. Hope all of you have had an enjoyable summer as well.

Have you ever been in a situation where someone has tried to "out alpha dog" you? I know that's not a phrase that one normally hears in everyday conversation, but it fits this next story. I was first introduced to the alpha dog theory when my cousin Carla came for a visit and brought her male dog "Big Boy" (cousin Big Boy to us). He's absolutely adorable. He's a cross between a Maltese and a German shepherd. (for those of you with your minds in the gutter, the male was the Maltese and no, I don't know how he reached) He kind of looks like a Dande Dinmont. Ever watch the dog shows on TV? Check out the Dande Dinmont. So cute! Anyway, I told her it would be just fine to bring him since our dog, Trina was very loving and friendly. Well, as soon as Big Boy (let's just call him bb for now) got out of her car, Trina acted like a Osama Bin Laden himself stepped out of her little Hyundai. She absolutely went nuts. Hello, who are you and what have you done with Trina?? Here is where the alpha dog theory comes into play. He was on her turf. God love him, he couldn't make a move without her growling, barking or snapping. So, for the entire visit he was either on Carla's lap or cowering beside the trash can. Well, I recently, too played the part of cousin Big Boy. I was in a situation, (not giving details!) where I was partially in charge, along with 4 or 5 other adults, of a group of children. Every time I made a move, there was Trina, barking, growling or snapping. I was on her turf and she wanted me to know it. But here's the thing. It was only me who got this alpha dog treatment. Now, I know I've got a big mouth and I can be a presence, but come on lady! It got so bad that I almost turned around and said, "Listen, I know I look like a cancer patient and all, but I can handle this!!" Maybe she thought I was weak and needed help with the kids, who knows. All I thought was, back off lady before I pimp slap you! Really got on my nerves. Again, I'm not giving details, but hope I don't run into her around town. I can't play nice when you've rubbed me the wrong way. I'd rather just avoid the situation all together.

Ok, enough about Miss Alpha Dog. My husband, bless his heart, ya know, if you have bless his or her heart in your next sentence, it can't be good. Anywho, I asked my husband if he could replace our dining room chandelier if I bought a new one. Sure is the response I got. He probably thought I wouldn't buy a new fixture, but guess what??? Bought one! After he removed the old fixture, he decided he didn't want to tackle installing the new one. So, now, I'm writing this blog in the dark, with the help of Mikey's lime green (he picked it out) lamp from his room. What is it with husbands who have really good intentions but OMG can't say from the get go, "No, I don't think I want to do that. Just hire somebody to do it." At least he wouldn't have taken the old fixture down. Could be worse I guess. He could just sit around drinking beer and belching all day.

I saw my Dr. Moskowitz last week. Love him, have I told you?? Anyway, he said things are looking good and to check back with him in a month or so. I also saw Dr. Timmons, my plastic surgeon. I was a little concerned because I'm still lopsided, but he said we have to wait three months after reconstruction to go back in and tweak anything that's not quite even. So, I guess in October we'll see if I need any more surgery. I'm thinking I will.

Otherwise, my health is ok. I really thought by now I'd be feeling pretty good. Not. My hands ache as well as other joints and muscles. Sometimes it feels like I have arthritis. But my oncologist, Dr. Ayrons tells me everything I'm feeling is normal. I've been told it could take up to a year to feel back to normal, well, as normal as I was before cancer hit. So I guess I just have to deal with the aches and pains. My hair is growing back and so are the eyelashes and eyebrows. I have one long lash that has held on. All the other abandoned ship when things got tough. I call her my one wild hair. (Thanks for the idea, Marsha) Now, when I put on mascara, you can actually see them. Yeah!! My hair has way too much gray coming in, as Mikey pointed out to the entire bible school group by saying, "Mom, you have 34 gray hairs on the back of your head!!!" Thanks kid, find someone who doesn't smell to take you home!

I hear the clouds starting to rumble, so I better log off. Take care my friends, and remember each day how blessed you are. You, too, could be a cross between a Maltese and a German shepherd.

I'm turning into George Clooney!!

Ok, so the hair is beginning to return, thank God. I've lost most of my eye lashes but they're also coming back. The only problem now is that my hair has a really deep side part. It's getting long enough so that it's not sticking straight up anymore (I used to look like that baby orangutan that you've seen on different things) so it's laying off to the side, kinda like George Clooney's hair. So, not only do I have virtually no eyelashes, I'm looking like a man. Great. Baggy shirt, no makeup and a Yankees hat and people will think they've spotted George Clooney in Kings Mountain. Yippee! I'm still lopsided. Apparently, my right side is still swollen from the last surgery so no nip is a bit smaller than his side kick. Hopefully when all the swelling goes down, I'll be even. If not, back into surgery I go. Crap, I've been through enough. At the very least I deserve even boobies, even if I am turning into George Clooney with moobs.

I'm still feeling pretty run down. Not so much sleepy tired but just run down. I'm reminded that I need to be patient and let myself heal. So be it.

The boys have spent this week at the beach with mom and dad. The house has been quiet, no fighting or bickering. Just peace and quiet. Yea, it's not all it's cracked up to be. I look forward to the time alone, but an hour after they're gone I'm ready for them to come back. What's up with that?? They've been having a great time with Grandmom and Grandpop. I'll be going to get them tomorrow. Then it'll be back to reality.

Crap it's hot. We've been having such a heat wave here in NC, but I guess it's that way most places. The only thing moving around outside are the hornets and mosquitoes. When I go out to water the plants, they dive bomb for my not so bald head. Why is it that the only time they come out is when I go out?? I could be outside for 2 minutes and get 178 mosquito bites and 12 hornets come out of retirement to dive bomb my head. Just don't get it. I'm the only one they bother. Don't they know I only have one boob?? Haven't I been through enough?? I'm literally scratching bites on my legs in between sentences.

I had an interesting conversation with a woman at my boys' orthodontist. I asked her when her last mammogram was. Well, with no insurance, the answer was never. So, of course I started researching and there are organizations that will either assist or give free mammograms to women who have no insurance. I think they offer them in October since October is breast cancer awareness month. For info call 1-800-ACS-2345. No more excuses ladies. Get smart and get squeezed!

Well, Wipeout's on then the season premier of Project Runway! Yay! I've missed Tim Gunn. Have a great rest my friends, and remember don't scratch the privates in pubic. That's gross.

Thank You

I was reminded today of the true meaning of grace and how it lives within the hearts of those who choose to embrace it. I've been pretty wrapped up in my own life these days and not really aware of anything other than my own pain and suffering. I've forgotten how truly blessed I am to have healthy children, wonderful parents, a husband who supports and loves me no matter what, and friends who would walk through fire for me. You have prayed me through the hardest and most frightening thing I have ever been through. Some of you I don't know that well. Some of you I haven't seen or spoken to for many years, and some of you I talk to every day. But, no matter what, you prayed me through. People that I barely know have approached me and said that they're praying for me. I get cards on a regular basis from a woman who goes to church with Michael in Raleigh. I've never met her but she sends cards wishing me well. That, my friends is grace. That is God's love.

I've been feeling a little insecure these days. The hair that has held on to my scalp is growing so it's standing straight up. My hands are swollen, my eyebrows are thinning and my eye lashes are disappearing. Never mind the misshapen and disfigured chest. Not feeling the most pretty lately. But, I ran into a friend today. As I took off my hat to show her my hair, the first thing out of her mouth was, "How beautiful you are." WHAT? The thing about it was, she was sincere. Totally sincere. That, my friends is grace. For a little while, she made me feel like I was normal looking again. Thank you, Gina.

Stay well, my friends. Show a little grace to someone. You never know how much they might need it.

Countdown to boobs!

Well, here we are, one week out. Yep, surgery is scheduled for next Wednesday, 7/14. I'm so excited but a little nervous. Even though it's outpatient, there's still the anesthesia. I didn't croak during my last surgery so I probably won't this time, either. But, if I do, make sure I have on a low cut shirt in the casket. Listen, I've been through a lot to get those boobs. I've gotta show 'em off! Hopefully it will be a quick procedure and I'll be home in time for All My Children. I meet with my plastic surgeon tomorrow to discuss all the details. I'm not quite sure what the recovery process will be like but certainly not like my first surgery. Mom will be here to help me again. Hurray for Vilma. What a blessing she has been.

Lori and I took the kids to my neighbor's pool today. I only had Johnathan and she only had her two youngest. It's amazing how the dynamic changes with our kids when one or two are missing. I usually end up playing referee between mine so I had a little bit of a break from that. But holy cow was it hot today. The water felt great, especially when the hot flashes came on. Hopefully these hot flashes won't last very long, but I've heard they can go on for years. With my luck I'll be hot flashin' in the old folks home. I can just hear it now, "Stay away from that old Medlin woman. You know how she is when she's flashin'!!" I'm mean enough as it is, I don't need any help!

Ya know, kids can be strange. Mikey was asking about my upcoming surgery and so I told him what the doctor was going to do. He asked me if he could save my tissue expander so he could see what it looked like. If the doctor couldn't save it, he asked, could he (the doctor) take a picture of it? This is the child who wanted my appendix when it was removed over the Thanksgiving holiday. (he takes after his father) Johnathan, on the other hand wants to keep my chemo port when it's removed. What on earth are they going to do with these things??? Ebay? Show and tell??? Add them to their trophy collections?? Do you ever wonder what your children are going to do with their lives? Apparently mine are going to do something having to do with removing things out of things, I don't know. Maybe a coroner or something. I'm rambling, I know. I'm tired. Not sleeping so well these days. Most nights I'm up several times. I've not gotten a good night sleep in weeks, so stop badgering me!!

We're off to the beach on Sunday. Lori and I are taking the kids for two nights. We're going to the water park on Monday and then beach and home on Tuesday. I wish we could stay longer but I've got a couple of DD's with my name on them waiting for me. No, maybe not double D's but something a little perkier than what I've, well, you get the picture. I guess that's what we'll talk about tomorrow, size, shape, color, length, weight, etc.

My hair has not started to grow back yet, at least not on my head that I can see. To my great delight, though, I've got armpit hair!! I've not had armpit hair in weeks!! I'm tempted not to shave and not wear a hat at the water park. Then I'd really embarrass my kids!

Ok my peeps. Stay well and think of me next Wednesday. I'll update Booby Doo as soon as I'm able. It's 8:10 pm. Do you know where your children are? Hope so. Hold them tight and keep them safe. After all, they are God's special gift to us.

34, yes I counted!!

Here we are almost 6 weeks after my last chemo treatment and my hair is falling out more than it was a month ago! What's up with that?? There were 34 little head hairs (I say that because, well, there's no other hair to count...) in the tub this morning. The funny thing about it is, the hair that has held on and not fallen out is growing. That's the only hair that's growing. Weird. So, just for you, I'm posting a picture of me today. This is what I look like without my hat. Some of you have seen it, some not. Before you look, let me warn you...its not pretty! You might want to shield young children's faces. The writer of this blog is not responsible for nightmares.



Anyway, I go back on Monday for my next Herceptin treatment and hopefully they'll try giving it to me without the benedryl. If I don't have any kind of allergic reaction, they'll leave out the benedryl for good and I can drive myself to the treatments. Lori has been driving me each time and I just know she's getting pretty tired of it. She's that kind of person. Oh, grow up, I'm just kidding. She'll probably still go with me. It gives us an excuse to have lunch!

I'm still feeling pretty crappy. My hands are still swollen, but not my feet. I'm having stomach issues, but I'm lot losing weight and yes, the hot flashes are still there. Just be quiet and let me whine. I'll complain to anyone who'll listen! I ran into a sweet lady today at Walmart who is also a breast cancer survivor. We had a great chat and believe it or not, she is also Dr. Ayrons' patient. Whoda thunk that 2 of his patients would run into one another at, of all places, Walmart?

Anybody do for a mammogram? Just sayin'....

Be well my friends and enjoy your freedom. Not everyone can.

Auntie Lisa, I don't like that waterfall, I tell you!

I guess Booby Doo's 15 minutes of fame is over. No one has asked me for a new post! Anyway, things are ok here at the Medlin house. Johnathan is still seeing his eye doctor due to the injury he suffered playing stick ball next door. He still has some blood behind the eye and his eye pressure was really high last week, but has come down, thank God. We have another appointment on Friday, so I guess it's improving. Boy, I sure thought it would be all better by now.

Well, its been 5 weeks since my last treatment and I'm still feeling yucky. My hands are swollen, I'm tired and my muscles feel like I've just taken my first Pilate's class in a year. Sore, Sore, Sore. But, at least no fever and I'm not really sick, just sore and hot! No, not hot in a good way. Hot in, damn it's hot! It doesn't seem as though my hair has started to sprout yet. I'm waiting to see how much gray will come in. You know, being 32 and having gray hair already is so depressing. But, life goes on. Loreal, here I come.

I hope everyone stops once in a while and takes a good look around them to truly count their blessings. I might complain about how I feel these days, but I am so blessed to have so much in my life. I'm going to overcome this crap I'm going through, my boys are healthy and active, my husband has come through colon cancer, he's got a great job, health insurance, great friends and family, etc etc etc. I'm saying all this because I met a woman at Johnathan's last dr.'s appt whose husband has terminal brain cancer. They have 3 children, one of whom is only 2. She told me her story and I told her mine. How scary it must be to know your husband may not be here next month or even next week. I don't know his exact prognosis, but it isn't good. She really inspired me. Her husband is dying and she has a really good attitude. I guess you have to, for the kids. So, don't take your blessings for granted. God gives all of us what we need, and it's up to us to make the most out of our lives. Ok, enough mush. The boys and I went to the beach last week to see my sister and her family. Wait, Mikey just came over to me to tell me about his triumph on his PlayStation game and man oh man. Deodorant, anyone? I told him his pits were stinky, and his response?? "Oh yeah, I forgot to put on deodorant." WHAT?? FORGOT?? When you smell that bad without pit spray, you don't forget!!!! Back to the beach, so it was great to see them. We haven't seen them in 3 years and the kids have really changed. We arrived at mom's on Sunday and of course they hadn't seen me without hair. Sammy, my niece who is 5 was a little put off but when I brought out the gifts, she was all over me. I really enjoyed having a little girl to fuss over. I took her to the nail salon and she got her first mani/pedi. It was adorable. Joey who is 8 is so smart. But alas, he's the middle child and those of you who are middle children (I'm one of them) know how life can be. We are the forgotten. (He's not really forgotten so shut up and let me whine.) When I was growing up, my big brother Scott was the favorite of my grandmother because he was the only boy. My little sister Carrie was my parent's favorite because she was the baby. And then there was Lisa. Poor Lisa. Poor middle child Lisa. (yea, right, still dad's favorite) But, I digress. Joey is a joy and fun to be around. Christian, my godson is 15 and what a teenager. I still think he had a good time and was glad to see us. He's grown so fast. I wish I could keep him that little baby with the long lashes. But, they grow up. That's what they do. We all went to the beach on Monday. It must've been 163 degrees but the kids had fun. That's what was important. All we adults could do was complain to anyone who would listen. On Thursday we all went to the water park. My cousin Carla bought all the kids tickets for Christmas. We got there about 10:30 and stayed for 6 hours. The kids had a blast. Joey wasn't quite old enough to go off with the older kids so he got stuck with the adults and younger sister Sammy. So, being the fun Auntie Lisa, I took him down the Lazy River. Well, along the ride there are several areas that have water spouts and one huge water fall. We must've gone around 4 or 5 times together. If you've ever been down a lazy river, you know that you stick your big butt inside the tube and lay back and relax. Oh no, not Joey. We were in a double tube with me in the back. Yep, big butt and lopsided chest layed back, while Joey, middle child Joey walked and guided the tube down the lazy river. Every time we approached a water fall, he would look back at me and say, "Auntie Lisa, I don't like that water fall, I tell you." He would guide the tube so that it would be poor middle child Auntie Lisa getting pummeled with water instead of him. Oh how he giggled at that!! So, of course for the rest of our visit the key phrase was, "Auntie Lisa, I don't like that water fall, I tell you!" I think we made great memories for our kids last week. At least I hope we did. The point of this long, drawn out story is, take a look around and appreciate your blessings. Make memories for your children. Memories filled with fun and laughter. Don't be afraid to get silly and look silly. Who cares? Let 'em each ice cream for lunch once in a while. Who cares? Life is short, people. Have fun and make memories.

When does school start??

Yay, it's summertime! I remember saying those words when school was finally over. Not sayin' 'em anymore! Don't get me wrong, I love my boys more than life itself, however when all they do is bicker and fight, yeah, don't like 'em that much. You have to understand, my children are 13 months apart. No, we didn't plan it that way. Actually, we were trying to NOT get pregnant when Mikey came along. This is proof that indeed God has a sense of humor. He, the great I AM, blesses me with two boys, 13 months apart. Now, they're healthy, smart and good lookin' kids. They don't struggle in school (straight A's and all kinds of awards yesterday including the Presidential Award for academic excellence for Johnathan) and they are likable and friendly kids. However, they, pretty consistently will pick, nudge, aggravate and irritate each other to the point of utter insanity. I have come close to jumping off my roof just to get away from the "Stop!, Quit It, Leave Me Alone, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom!!!!!!!!!" But, summertime is for fun, relaxation and creating memories. So, I pledge to suck it up and let my boys be boys and back off a little. And if I can accomplish that, then pigs truly can fly. But boy oh boy do I remember summers in Walkersville. The carnival, the football field in Discovery, and of course the pool. We spent every waking minute at the pool. I have so many fun and fond memories of my childhood summers that I can only hope my boys create the same kind of memories. Many of you who will read this can relate to those memories of summertime in Walkersville. Oh, to be in middle school again!

Now, if anyone can tell me how to ease these blessed hot flashes I'm getting due to the chemo, I will give you my first born! Literally you could fry and egg on my head when the flashes come on. Please someone help me!!! Other than the flashes and still being a little tired I think I'm definitely on the mend. I'm not weak tired like I was during chemo, just sleepy tired because I'm up 1/2 the night with hot flashes!! I don't think I'm feeling any ill effects from the herceptin I'm taking, which is not a hormone blocker, it's some kind of antibody, I think. Anyway, Lisa's getting better each day.

I took Johnathan back to the eye doctor today and she seems to think it's getting better. He still has some blood sitting back behind the eye, but she said that could take 6 weeks to clear up. He's been cleared to go to the beach next week, just can't play sports. Nothing with balls (get it outta the gutter!) yet. So what a blessing that he didn't loose his sight and that it looks like he will make a full recovery.

We're off to the beach next week to meet up with my sister and her clan. Can't wait, we haven't seen the kids in about 3 years so we're so excited. We'll be staying with my cousin Carla and cousin Big Boy. That's the alpha male in her life. He's a cross between a Maltese and a German shepherd. Yes, you heard right. A Maltese and a German shepherd. Don't ask how that was accomplished (the dad was the Maltese, how did he reach????) but the result is Big Boy. The last time I stayed with Carla, I had an emergency appendectomy. Let's hope for an uneventful trip this time!!

Don't forget, Father's Day is next weekend. If you're thinking about getting dad a tie, don't.

I'll never think of rice the same way again.

Chemo's over but I still feel like I'm in chemo funk and it's been almost three weeks. Enough already. I actually got a nap today, though. First nap I've been able to take in months so I guess I'm on the upswing. Anyhow, Monday I go for my next treatment. Just herceptin, not chemo so hopefully I'll be bouncing back quickly. Speaking about bouncing, imagine having one cantaloupe on your chest and one deflated balloon filled with rice. Yeah, one bounces and the other doesn't move, I mean doesn't move. That'll be over soon. Then I'll have two that don't move!! Hurray! I guess my hair will start to grow back in a few weeks. I've lost a few eye brow hairs and a few eyelashes. My eyelashes are pretty long and I've been hoping and praying that I wouldn't lose them. I think if I continued with my treatment, I'd end up being bald as an egg. So, I keep telling my lashes to hold on and don't let go. They're doing pretty well, and I still have most of them. What would I do with all that Lancome mascara????

So, Thursday Johnathan comes running into the house with his hand over his eye, crying. He's telling me he was hit with a kick ball (you know the balls that you find in Walmart in those big bins) while he and Mikey were playing stick ball with the boys next door. So, being the compassionate mom I am, I tell him he's fine and to go back outside. Before he goes back out, I get out my old lady glasses and take a look. Holy crap, his beautiful big brown pupil is nothing but red blood. So, off to the ER we go. The triage nurse takes him into the hallway to have him read the eye chart. As he's holding his hand over the good eye, she's standing in front of him waving at him and he can't see her. Yeah, talk about scared. Here's my first born, the one I prayed to have for a year, blinded in one eye. So they decide to transfer us via ambulance to Levine Children's Center in Charlotte. Two hours pass and we find out there's a terrible accident in Shelby and all the EMT's are there. Evidently there was a high speed chase and a state trooper and pedestrian were both seriously injured. Finally we get our ambulance and off we go to Charlotte. Let me say, the doctors and nurses were wonderful. We waited in the exam room maybe 5 minutes before we had 2 nurses, a patient advocate, and 2 doctors examining Johnathan. Long story short, his vision was beginning to return because the blood covering his pupil had begun to be absorbed. They sent us home that night (Michael came home early from Raleigh) around midnight. Luckily Lori picked Mikey up from next door so he was taken care of. We went to the doctor yesterday for a follow up and it continued to improve. We went back to the doctor today and will go again tomorrow. Thank goodness for weekend hours. The doctor today said the first 3 days are the most critical. They want to make sure it doesn't start to bleed again. So, hopefully he will make a full recovery. But I guarantee he won't be the pitcher the next time the boys get together and play stick ball! According to Mr. Rusty, (father of the boy who hit the ball that hit Johnathan) the new rule is, when you pitch, you wear a helmet with face guard. So, you parents out there with kids who play baseball, or any kind of sport where there is a possibility of eye injury, be careful! Your child might look like a geek with a helmet on, but at least he'll be safe!!!

My sister and brother in law are driving in from San Antonio next week with the kids, (they have 3) so the boys and I will be joining them at mom and dad's at the beach. My only problem is what to wear to the pool and beach. Again, cantaloupe and rice filled, deflated balloon. Imagine that in a bathing suit.....prettttttty. Can't wait for my reconstruction to be finished. Anyone who has had this procedure knows what I'm talking about. My own child even said to me the other day, "Mom, your kinda lopsided." Unless I'm in a loose fitting t-shirt, I'm lopsided. Oh well, could be worse. I could be dead. And on that note, have a great day

Pizza, seriously??

So, once again, just to get attention, I decided to become neutropenic again last week and check myself into the hospital. Pastor Hobby asked me why I was in the hospital and I told him that I missed the food. Yea, well here's the story. Two weeks ago was treatment #4. Mom and I went to lunch on Wednesday and by Thursday I was once again on the couch. Dad was scheduled to come up the following Tuesday to take mom home since she had been here since my last hospital visit on the 10th. I got through the week with fatigue and low grade fevers. Monday rolls around and here we go again. The fever went up over 101 so into the doctor I go. They check my blood but not through my port (which is painless). It wasn't in a giving mood, so no blood. In the arm the needle goes. The reason I got the port is so I wouldn't have to be stuck in the arm each time. Anyhow blood looks good, white counts are where they're supposed to be so I'm sent home with antibiotics. Sherry my nurse said if the fever reaches 102.5 to call. Great. Home I go. I woke up on Tuesday with no fever but a pounding heart. By the way, Lori is in Disney at this point having the time of her life. I've told mom if she calls to lie and tell her I'm fine, which she did. Tuesday was spent on the couch monitoring my fever closely. Dad arrives about 2:00 and by the time mom got home at 3:15 from picking up the boys, my fever was back up to 102.5. I called the doctor and they told me to come in immediately. Long story short, blood work comes back and I'm neutropenic again and my blood pressure is up to 183 over 102. My heart rate is up to 123. Yep, back to the white house (which is what the doctor calls the hospital). I get into the room at 5:00 and by 5:30 I'm a little irritated that no one knows I'm here yet. At least no one came to the room to start IVs or anything. So, I buzz the nurse. By now it's 6:00 and mom has gone home to feed dad and the kids. The tech comes in the room and asks very sweetly, "What can I do for you?" Seriously??? I'm sitting here for an hour and no one has come in to start anything on me. Finally, the nurse comes in to draw blood for a culture on my port since it hasn't been giving blood. No go. No blood. They can't start fluids or antibiotics until my port is cultured to make sure there's nothing funky growing. So, I sit for another hour and a half and cute little Dustin comes into the room to take me for a chest xray. Mind you I've been in that room for over 2 1/2 hours and still have no fluid flowing into my sick little feverish veins. Not to mention I'm feeling really really crappy. So, down to xray. I swear it felt like I was being wheeled into the bowels of the hospital. Not to mention I've got to wear a surgical mask to reduce the risk of infection. Dustin parks me in the hallway outside the radiology room and tells me he'll be back to pick me up. Picture a 46 year old bald, feverish, no makeup, puffy faced, masked lump sitting in a wheel chair wrapped up in blankets with a pink Cowboys hat on. Now, if that's not pitiful, nothing is. A puppy stuck in a storm drain with half a tail and one eye wasn't as pitiful as me. So, as I'm sitting there in the hallway breathing 102.5 fevered breath into the Darth Vader mask they've given me to avoid germs, I hear the two radiology techs ordering pizza. For real, I'm in the hallway, and they're ordering pizza. Then, they start to discuss how much each will owe for the pizza. Yes, old baldy with the Vader mask is still in the hallway getting more and more irritated. Finally, one of the techs comes out in the hallway and says, "Mrs. Medlin?" Are you kidding me, who else would be sitting here breathing hot breath in the #$%#$ mask??? So, as politely as I could I said, "Hold on now, make sure you've got your pizza order in, I wouldn't want to get in the way of your dinner!" His reply to me was, "We're just glad we get to eat." Those of you who know me know what I could have said, but luckily for him, I didn't have the strength. After all of this, my IV was finally started at 10:40. So, after 5 hours and 40 minutes I had my first dose of antibiotics. Well, the next morning when Dr. Ayrons came in to see me, I had to tell him of my experience. Within 20 minutes I had the patient rep and the Director of Imaging Services in my room taking my statement. Now, let me explain. I'm a big fan of eating. I have nothing against it, but don't leave me sitting in the hallway breathing hot breath and just wanting to lay down while you get your dinner order straight. What they should have done is come into the hallway, tell me they'd be right with me and go in the closet and finish your dinner order so I don't have to hear it!!! Anyhow, the radiology department brought me a gift for my trouble. I was number one patient until I left on Friday. I guess they didn't want another butt chewing. It's great to have a doctor who will kick some butt for his patient. Thanks Dr. Ayrons!! Love the pictures! But, the most important thing about being sick last week is Dr. Ayrons told me that my last two treatments were cancelled!! My body just can't handle the chemo, so I'm finished!! Yay, no more chemo. I'll still be taking the herceptin until March but that's just a hormone blocker and won't make me sick. So, of course the first thing I did this morning was call my plastic surgeon to schedule my booby surgery!! Man, I'll be sportin' this summer.

So, that's where I've been. Mom was here and was once again a life saver. Those of you who have moms who will do anything for you, don't take that for granted. My mom lives 4 hours away and still drops everything and comes when I need her. What a blessing.

I can't believe school is out next week! What a year it's been. Oh, by the way, if anyone needs a couple of boys this summer, let me know!

Be well, my friends. Say something kind and unexpected to someone. It might just make their day.

Booby Doo, Where Are You?

Just to get sympathy, and to get mom here to do my laundry, I decided to develop neutropenic fever last week and get myself admitted to the hospital for three days. Lots of fun. I woke up last Monday with a low grade fever and it went up by the time I got home after dropping the boys off at school. So, I did what I'm supposed to do, I called the doctor. They immediately called in an antibiotic and gave me an appointment for 1:00. They pumped me full of fluids and by the time I was ready to leave at 4:00, the fever had gone up to 103. Lovely, into the hospital I go. Lori, thank God for her, took care of school pick ups and mom was on the way. Anyway, long story short, (I know, too late for that) after 3 days of fever it finally broke on Wednesday night. I came home Thursday afternoon and, still feeling like something on the bottom of your shoe, layed on the couch the rest of that day. Friday, got up and cleaned bathrooms, vacuumed and did, of course, way too much, so fever went back up by Friday night. Great!! I called the doctor and got yelled at (not really) for doing too much and was told to rest. REST?? I have two bickering boys who live in their own little narcissistic world where the most important thing is can we play Monopoly and what's for dinner???? Really, I have great kids, most of the time. Those of you who know my boys know they're pretty special and those of you who have boys know how maddening they can be! But, they're healthy and smart so who am I to complain??

Anyhow, mom is still here. She'll be leaving this weekend so I figured we'll go to dinner tonight. I'm not going to feel any better later in the week, so might as well go tonight. How blessed am I to have a mother, a 77 year old mother who will drop everything and rush to my side when I need her.

What is it with dogs and grass?? Yesterday Trina came running into the house going from room to room. All of a sudden mom yells, "Lisa, she's leaking!!" Well, I looked at her and she's got grass hanging out of her hynie. What the hell???? "Michael" I screamed, "Pull it out of her, she's rubbing her butt on the rug!!" So, like the dutiful husband he pulls the grass out of his dog's butt. Now, after all this, I've got to shampoo the rug. After all, can't have poopy grass germs on the rug in the living room. With just about all the strength I had, I shampooed that rug within an inch of it's life. I'm not gonna tell ya the color of the water that came out of my shampooer. Icky! So, on a poopy grass germ note, have a great day!

Aim boys, aim!!!

Well, here I am. Slowly coming out of my funk. This time was quite different from the last two. I didn't have the all over body aches and extreme weakness like I had the first two. So, I felt pretty good over the weekend and started feeling crummy yesterday. But, life goes on and we were out of Cheerios. So, off to Walmart I go. Does anybody ever go to Walmart and just get what's on your list?? If you do, liar liar, pants on fire. No one does that!! So, anyway, get home, unpack, eat lunch and off to the couch. My taste buds are numb so everything kinda tastes like cardboard. I could each dog chow and not know the difference. So, I'm on the couch and this strange odor is coming from the boy's bathroom. Well, I'm thinking, who didn't flush this time?? So I put on my body armor (kind of like an astronaut's suit) which is what I do whenever I enter their bathroom and start to look for the source of the odor. To my surprise, the toilet had been flushed! Wow, that's a first. Upon examining the area where the toilet and floor meet, I notice a strange looking yellow substance. PEE. How can a child, or two, hit a basketball goal 200 yards out, blindfolded and behind his back and not hit the blessed toilet???????? What is up with boys who pee everywhere except inside the commode??? I've even cleaned pee of the top of the tank? Whattup with that???? You're not putting out a fire and it's not water you're squirting. It's pee. Come on people, pee. It stinks and it belongs in the toilet. Not on the floor, not on the seat, not on the wall and not on the shower curtain. Stop treating Mr. Happy like he's a toy and aim boys, aim!!! If you have to sit down to go, then so be it. But stop peeing all over the place!!!! So, I've decided the next time I find that strange looking yellow substance anywhere at all, I'll not be the one cleaning it up. Just a warning to those who live in my house or those who visit my house who can pee standing up. Aim, boys, aim.

Anyhow, one of the medicines I'm getting along with the chemo is called Herceptin which is a hormone. So, now, not only do I have no taste buds, no hair, no pretty fingernails, and no left boob, I also have hot flashes. Holy cow, I've heard of these things but never experienced one until now. They start mid abdomen and slowly climb my trunk until I'm so hot you could cook a hamburger on my little stubbly head. How you old women out there deal with these things is a mystery to me. I had to get up in the middle of the night over the weekend and push the air down to 72. And there's Michael, snoring, with 16 blankets on the bed and I'm having a barbecue on the top of my head. Nothin' right about that! Did I mention the eye twitching? After treatment, my left eye twitches for a week or so. How weird is that?? So, no, I'm not winking at you. It's the twitch!

My next surgery to complete my reconstruction is scheduled for July. Yeah!!! I asked Dr. Timmons what is the step after that. He told me I needed to decided whether or not I wanted a nipple on the new boob. Well, how do you do that I asked. What he told me I was not prepared for. He would take skin from the woo woo (you know what I'm talkin' about) and make a nipple. The recuperation time for that surgery would be about 3 weeks. So, from now on you can call me uni-nipple. Uh Uh, aint happin'. A sharp knife is not coming near my woo woo. Plus, I'd have a permanent head light on, all the time! Ok, TMI, I know. But, you chose to read my blog. No one forced you. My life is an open book. Mostly. Have a great day, and aim boys, aim.

Half Way There!!

Ok, so today was my 3rd in a total of 6 treatments. Lori and I arrived at 8:45 and they called me back at 9:10. So, we got started a little late and ran until 3:00. Long day but can't complain. Once every 21 days isn't' so bad. By the end of the week I'll be feeling pretty crappy, but again, can't complain. Could be worse. We spent the time reading more trashy magazines and eating trashy food, TastyKakes included! There was a woman there today we met on our first time who's leukemia came back and she goes every day. I think she said she has something like 12 more treatment to go, 12 out of 62. Yuck! She's up for a stem cell transplant which should cure her, God willing.

I've been hearing from a lot of people regarding this little blog of mine. It seems that it's being passed around our small town by leaps and bounds. I got a card from a former preschool mom of mine today wishing me well and also mentioned she was passed the blog. So, thanks Paige for the card and the kind words. Tell Sally and Jessie Ms. Lisa, the Queen of Love and Beauty, sends her love! I'm so glad people are reading about my journey. I guess it's keeping people out of the pool halls, and it's better that getting poked in the eye with a stick. So, keep reading, guys. I probably won't post for a few days unless the spirit moves me. Again, I love you all. You are my strength and inspiration. Keep the faith and be well.

I've added a few pictures, but couldn't figure out how to add them directly below this post, so to see them you'll have to scroll down to the bottom.

Half Way Eve

Got up this morning at 6:30 to start the day. Had an appointment with my Dr. Moskowitz who did my mastectomy. I call him my Dr. Moskowitz because I'm his only patient. At least that's how he makes me feel. He comes into the exam room and sits and chills for a while. I told him my story about the ER and the nine needle sticks and he just kinda sat and listened with a funny grin. So, not sure if he's thinking, "Why did they hurt my only patient like that?", or "Suck it up, Medlin! Put your big girl panties on and deal with it!!" Probably the latter!

Did you ever have a doctor who came in the exam room, said a few uh uh's and left? Kinda makes you feel like he's in it for the money and not the patient. Not me. I have the three best doctors I could ask for. My Dr. Moskowitz did my mastectomy and my chemo port, Dr. Timmons is working on building me a new boob, and Dr. Ayrons is my oncologist who I yelled at when I was sick, and he still cares!! Couldn't get any better than that. I also found out today that my Dr. Moskowitz had a great deal to do with Dr. Timmons going to Bolivia to operate on poor children. I don't know if he'd want me to say exactly what he did, but he was very involved in the trip. So, not only do I have doctors who care about me and my health, but they also care about making the world a better, healthier place in which to live. So, hats off (or should I say Boobs off??) to my three doctors. Thank you for what you do and why you do it.

Well, tonight is the eve of my half way point for my chemo. Tomorrow Lori and I will go at 8:45 and hopefully be finished by lunchtime. After tomorrow, 3 more to go! Felt pretty good this morning but then had a vertigo attack while in Timmon's office and it kind of knocked me out this afternoon. So, hopefully will feel better tomorrow. Michael should be coming home this week on Thursday to help me with the boys. Hopefully nothing will come up at work to prevent that.

We'll be taking more pictures tomorrow so look for me without hair. I actually still have stubble on the head and do ya know I think it stopped falling out! Of course. I shave the head, and the hair stops falling out! If I hadn't shaved it, it would fall out till I was bald. But noooooooo, shave, stay. I've even tried pulling it out. Nope. Stay. Still have leg hair and I don't wear my glasses in the shower so I can't see the pit hair, but I shave it anyway! So, pray for the eye brows and eye lashes which I still have. Don't know if they'll hang around or not. I know there are some sickos who are wondering about the other hair. Well, you'll just have to wonder. Perverts. Ok, gotta go, dinner dishes are calling. Have a great night and be well my friends.

Me, Stubborn???

Ok, ok, so Wednesday night I started running a fever and it got up to 102. I'm supposed to call the doctor if it reaches 100.5 or above. So, I took 2 Motrin and went back to sleep. No, I didn't call the doctor. Yesterday, the fever came back around dinner time, so, yes, this time I called. So, I've been yelled at by the nurse on the phone last night, (she didn't really yell), I've been yelled at by Lori, (she yelled), been yelled at by mom and been yelled at by husband. OK OK OK, I'll call everytime. Do you know how hard it is for someone like me, (stubborn and independent) to call and admit weakness??????? Never mind having to call people to ask for help with the boys. With Michael in Raleigh, it's hard sometimes to work things out. If I have to go to the ER at 3:00 am, what do I do with the boys?? So, for everyone who volunteered to take the boys yesterday and the 2 who actually did, Lori and Kim, thank you so much. Oh by the way, Kim yelled at me too for not wanting to ask her if Mikey could stay with her last night. So, short post today, but all in all I'm feeling better. Just an infection so cutie pie Lance gave me antibiotics and the ok to not call tonight if the fever comes back! I'll be at Relay for Life tonight. Hope to see some of you there!

Does It Matter?

46 years old today. It doesn't seem possible. Do you ever look back on your life and wonder if you've made a difference to anyone? When I was preschool director, one of my preschool moms gave me a framed poem that reads, "One hundred years from now it won't matter what car I drove, what kind of house I lived in, how much I had in my bank account, nor what my clothes looked like: but the world may be a better place because I was important in the life of a child." Every time I read this poem I tear up. Does it really matter what we do with our lives? I stopped by my old preschool yesterday and so many of the children I had have moved on to elementary school, but there are still some who are there who remembered me. To hear "Hey, Ms. Lisa!!!" echoing through the hallways of the church has so touched me. To run into some of my preschoolers who are older now and hear them say, "Ms. Lisa, you are still the Queen of Love and Beauty!" (this is what I made them call me if they wanted seconds on snack!!) warms my heart. Yes, I believe it certainly does matter what we do with our lives. Life is not a spectator sport. Get out there and participate. Make this world a better place for your children and their children. Do it because it's the right thing to do. Listen people, life is short. Make the most of it you can before you can't anymore. Change a life today, tomorrow may be too late. Remember, the last thing you say to someone just may be the last thing you say to them so make sure it's something they want to hear.

I know this post is different from all the others but sometimes you just feel the way you feel. Today was a good day. I was able to get out of bed, have lunch with my bff and tell my children I love them. Tuesday the 27th will be my 1/2 way point. After that, 3 more bad treatments and I'm finished witht the bad chemo so hurray for that. Thank you all for the kind words and prayers. Tomorrow is sauce day so I'll be at the stove for 6 hours making my world famous spaghetti sauce, meatballs included! Love you all!

Let's bedazzle!

On the way home from picking the boys up at school today I heard a great idea. By the way, 5th grade boys really smell bad after a hard day at school. Anyway, I was listening to Matt and Ramona on our local radio station and Ramona mentioned an article she read about a man who decided he would start decorating his bald head. Well, it came to me. When my hair is completely gone, I'll be sportin' a big old blue Cowboys star right on the back! I'll get some Cowboy blue rhinestones, some bald head glue (somebody's gotta make it) and have Lori, although she's not a Cowboys fan, go to work. The possibilities are endless. For Valentine's day, a heart, for St. Patty's day, a shamrock, for Halloween a jack-o-lantern. Holy cow, I could go into business and make millions! I can see the headlines now, "Nutty bald chick will decorate your shiny nut!" Ok, maybe the word nut is the wrong word. Might get some perverts out for a little fun. The best part about it is the embarrassment it would cause my children. Revenge, finally. After all the times I've wanted to crawl under a rock (not that many, I've got good kids) I'll finally get my revenge. Hah! I could even add feathers to the rhinestones to really embarrass them. I know, I could print out a picture of them, glue that to the back of my head and wear it to their next awards ceremony! Oh my God, someone help me. I'm losing it.

Feeling pretty good today. Still a little tired but I guess that will be my life for the next 10 weeks. June 29 should be my last treatment, not including the year of Herceptin I'll be taking. I can't wait to get this over with, but it could be worse. Stuck my hand in the pocket of a pair of jeans I pulled out of the dryer this morning and, yep, Mikey left a big wad of gum in there. Thanks babe. So, we're off to celebrate good report cards tonight at Gondola. So so Italian food but they picked it that's where we're going. Have a great spring afternoon!

I used to be a man.

Not really but it caught your attention, didn't it? So a friend of mine stopped by today to bring me a hat her mother-in-law made for me. It's a hat made especially for women with alopecia or women who've lost their hair due to chemo. I just love it, thanks Juli. Juli was a preschool mom of mine when I was the director at Resurrection Lutheran School here in town. I had both her boys in school and over the years have run into them in town here and there. So, she's not someone with whom I socialize or see on a regular basis. The point I'm trying to make is Juli and I don't see a lot of each other but here I am going through chemo and having a bit of a struggle and Juli calls me out of the blue to bring me a gift. She thought of me. She made it a point to get me a hat and bring it to my house. She's a busy chick, not someone who has time to sit around the house and eat bon bons (at least I don't think she does). So, thank you for taking time out of your day for me. Oh, by the way, she got to see the boob in process today. She was quite impressed with my doctor's handy work. I'm amazed every day by the people who are so busy dealing with every day stuff in their own lives who have time to stop and get a pizza for my kids, or come by to pick them up for church, or neighbors who let them tag along to the ballpark, people who offer to pick up the kids from school or just come by and take them for an afternoon if I need it. You know who you are. Thanks.

I had an interesting conversation with another friend yesterday who told me she enjoyed reading my blog. She made the suggestion that I do a little more with it, perhaps even write for the local newspaper. Well, that thought certainly never crossed my mind. I started this as a way to maybe bring a little humor to something that is not at all funny. I thought maybe if there is someone out there who is struggling with not just cancer but anything, can read this and giggle a little, then I've done my job. My goal here is to lighten what can sometimes be a very heavy life. Take a load off, sit down, relax and breathe! But, Cliff Ann, you got me thinking. So, I did what I told you I would do. I emailed Ellen DeGeneres. (love her!!) I thanked her for making me laugh as I was recuperating, as I was in chemo funk and mentioned Booby Doo. If she mentions mammograms on her show and one woman gets one, then, again, my job is done.

Not to switch gears, but does anyone have a child who gets obsessed with something and WILL NOT SHUT UP ABOUT IT??? Mikey, my 10 year old, who, by the way, on Saturday told me he wished it was him who was sick and not me (he takes after his mother) is obsessing over this Thrillville game for the Wii. Can I tell ya I'm sick of it, and who let him buy it?? That would be me. Thank God he's healthy enough to aggravate the paint off a car.

Ok, before I leave you, one question. Do you ever pick up the keyboard to your computer and see what's underneath?? We have one computer in the house and it's a desktop, so the kids use it as well. I just found birdseed, a caster for one of the dining room chairs, cheese cracker crumbs, hair (mine when I had it), and a mini skate board. Go figure.

Just do it and get it over with!

So, I've finally come out of my chemo funk. It seems the way it's going to go is chemo on Tues, Wed feeling ok, Thurs kinda tired and by the weekend full blown flu symptoms. But, no throwing up which is such a blessing. Motrin seems to help with the all over body aches and I had no fever this time so yeah for that. Thank you to everyone who has called, brought dinner and sent cards and well wishes. It means so very much!

Thursday afternoon I realized that I had run out of one of my meds, so I called Lori and asked if she'd stop by and pick it up for me at the drug store. She gets to my house that night and I handed her the clippers and said just do it already. I couldn't stand the hair everywhere. It was falling out in such clumps that all that was left on my head, and I had a healthy head of thick hair, would fit in one small dust pan. So, off it came. Lori was a little apprehensive about it, but being who she is, did it for me because I asked her to. I couldn't do it myself. I tried that morning but just couldn't bring myself to shave my own head. So, now I look like a fat Aushwitz survivor (abosulutely no disrespect to anyone who survived the Holocaust, and I've actually known a few). What's left of my hair is about 1/4 long and it's balding in spots so man am I pretty! I wore my wig for the first time to church on Sunday and it felt a little weird, but I'm wearing it for my kids. It's a beautiful wig, but, it's a wig. Nuff said bout that!

I had an appointment with my plastic surgeon, Dr. Timmons this morning and he said I'm almost ready for my final reconstruction surgery. He has pumped 670 cc's of fluid into my tissue expander so he's finished with that part of the process. Another thing checked off my list! Now we have to wait for the chemo to be fininshed (June 29!!) and he'll complete my look! Call my secretary for an appointment to see the new boobs.

My brother, on the other hand has had surgery to repair a leak in his colon. He had the first surgery on 3/30 and they had to go back in to fix what they didn't fix the first time. He's in a lot of pain and pretty miserable so please say a prayer for him. Mom has a spot on her mammogram and she'll find out what that is on the 20th, so please pray for her. Let's see, anybody else in my family want to come down with some ailment????? Oh, Shawn, my brother in law is in the early stages of emphysemia, so please pray for him. Holy cow, enough already!! My kids are healthy and my husband had a clean cat scan, so I'm very grateful for that. I've got an amazing church family along with good neighbors and of course the best friend anyone could have so I consider myself very blessed. Let's all get healthy and family reunion at my house this fall. Everyone's invited. Afterall, you're all my family!! Love you all.

Two down, four to go!

Hello my dear friends. Before I begin, I would like to thank all of you for your continued love and support during this journey of mine. It means so much that so many people send well wishes, prayers and support during this time in my life. My only hope is that I can make a difference in just one life. If I touch more than one, all the better. God is in control and my faith is carrying me through, along with all the support that I've gotten from you good people. How truly blessed am I.
Ok, enough with the mush, yesterday went well. Lori and I sat, ate, laughed, teared up a little and basically just read trashy mags and oh, yea, Lori had her very first TastyKake. Can you imagine reaching her advanced age and never having experienced the euphoria of a TastyKake?? Ok, maybe I'm exaggerating, but holy cow, I grew up on those things. Hard to find 'em here in the south, though. Anyhow, I was a little groggy yesterday from the benedryl they give me in between the three drugs I'm getting so basically just laid around yesterday. Feeling pretty good today. I woke up at 3:00 am and had a hard time getting back to sleep so I'm a little tired but otherwise no nausea or anything yet. Hopefully this time around I feel better than last time.
The hair is still falling out like crazy, I can really tell when I look at my part. It's getting wider by the minute, but not quite ready to take it all off yet. The short haircut is bad enough.
The hickies have finally faded, still slight bruises on my arm from the needle pokes but pretty much all that junk has cleared up. The next issue is that big thing in the middle of my face called a nose. You see, when the hair is finally gone, the nose will look all the bigger. What's a girl to do with a big Hungarian nose and no hair?? I tried to get my plastic surgeon to take care of it when he did the reconstruction, but no luck. I mean I can wear a hat or wig for the baldness but what do you do for a nose like mine?? Well, at least I have a nose, right? Ok my peeps, love you all and I keep you posted. Thanks again for all the support. It means more than I can say.

No, that's not a hickey on my neck!

So, I have these two lovely purple hickey looking things on my neck from the hospital the other night when the doctor had to poke me with his lovely needle the size of a slim jim. Do you know how embarrassing it is to have people look at you and think, "Kinda old for a hickey, aren't you??" "No, they're not hickies! They're from needles, no, no, not drug needles, doctor needles" is what I want to scream at people but then they'd think I was nuts (those of you who know me know I'm already nuts, but strangers don't). So, anyway my hair is falling out like crazy so I had my hair dresser cut it short which I hate. It also needs color but why color it when I'm going to lose it anyway? I have purple track marks in my harm and hand from the hospital as well, one boob that's 45 years old and has breast fed 2 kids, one sorta boob without a nipple that's firm and perky. Boy, lookin' good girl!! Next chemo treatment is Tues so I'll post pictures next week. Maybe if I'm lucky I'll be bald by then and my big purple hickies will have turned a lovely shade of scarlet!
Happy Easter to all, and remember He is Risen Indeed!

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?????????

So my faithful followers, wondering where I've been for the last week? Well, a few days after chemo I became extremely weak and was basically on the couch all that following weekend. So much so that mom had to come back from the beach to take care of me. Well, I also started having severe stabbing pains in my chest where I had my surgery, so bad that I was back on the pain meds. Tuesday (a week after chemo) the fever started and didn't stop. I was miserable. Not only was I weak, but I had this horrific pain that I couldn't get to subside. Went to the Dr. on Thurs, he sent me to have an ultrasound to make sure I didn't have an infection. Nope, no infection at the surgery sight, but still fever and pain, so he sent me to the E.R., wanting to rule out a pulmonary embolism (that would be blot clot in the lung). So, off the the E.R. we go, they take me right back and start their magic. Luckily, they can start the IV in my chemo port. Yey!! No needle sticks. Right, NOT. They have to start another IV to run dye through so I can have a CAT scan to make sure I'm not about to croak from the pulmonary embolism (PE for short). After 7 sticks to my arm and hand, yes, 7, they've finally given me Ativan for anxiety. Ya think?? The ER doc comes in and the nurses tell him every time they stick me my veins blow. No kidding. So he says, let's try the neck. Yes, the neck. They lay the hospital bed almost upside down, kinda like I'm hanging in iversion boots, and he says turn your head to the left all the way and don't move. Well, I happen to have 3 buldging discs in my neck, and it doesn't turn all the way. He made it turn all the way. So, he sticks me in my neck telling me to relax as I'm hyperventalating. That vein blows. Great, turn your head to the right. Remember the discs?? Ok, so he says to me as he's at my jugular vein with a sharp thing, relax and don't move. Holy crap it actully took! Thank the Lord above after 9 sticks they finally got the damn iv in me. So, off to CT scan. No problem. Doc comes in and says, ok everything looks clear, you can go home. WHAT???? What about the fever and the intense pain in my chest??? Well, they can't figure it out. Saturday, still running a fever and still on pain meds for the ice pick stabbing me. Sunday, no fever, get up and we got the church. Hey, no pain in my chest. Hopefully whatever it was is gone. So, this morning I got up and got ready for my follow-up appt with Lance the adorable PA at my oncologist office. Uh-oh, the pain's back. Wait a minute, I had no pain yesterday and I had on a normal bra for church. Today, I put on the sports bra that I've been wearing since my surgery. So, I changed my bra and the pain went away. ARE YOU KIDDING ME????? All this crap because I had on the wrong %$#$%^% bra???? So, long story short, I had a virus that caused the fever and had on the wrong damn bra. The End.

No More Squirty Cheese!

So, I wake up this morning at 3:00 am, not able to go back to sleep and notice my hands have begun to swell. Oh crap I think, not a side effect already! Wait a minute, didn't Lori and I consume a bottle of squirty cheese and wheat crackers along with a few slim jims during chemo yesterday?? Of course, it's the squirty cheese that's making me swell, not chemo. Sodium anyone?? Anyhow, today is going pretty well. I'm not sick just tired from being up since 3 am. Four hours sleep is definately not enough for me. Hopefully tonight I'll sleep better. I just want to send a sincere thank you to everyone who has sent well wishes, prayers, funny comments and words of encouragement to me. The response I've gotten is truly overwhelming and humbling. You never really know how many people care until something like this happens. What is really amazing is all the support I've gotten from all of you from WHS. What a blessing to grow up in a small town like Walkersville, and almost 30 years later people still take time out of their day to send prayers and support. I love you all and please know that your support is what is keeping me going right now. That and that squirty cheese!

First Day of Chemo

Well, day one of chemo was a very long day. Lori and I arrived at the oncologist's office at 8:40 this morning and didn't get started until 9:45. They started me off with an anti-nausea drug, then the three drugs I'll be taking, starting with taxotere, then carboplatin and last but not least herceptin. The room was set up with 5 or 6 recliners and over the course of the day, different people came and went. We met a 34 year old woman who has stage 4 breast cancer, a woman with leukemia, a woman with stomach cancer and a woman who's cancer has spread to her bones. She'll need chemo every week for the rest of her life. Boy, I could be so much worse off. My chemo is preventative. It's very humbling going into something like this when my biggest concern is hair loss when some of these people may very well die. I told Johnathan yesterday when he expressed concern over me having to go through chemo that this will not kill me. I'm not sick and I'm not in pain. I guess I have to keep reminding myself of this. We were finally finished by about 2:45 and boy were we ready to leave. It had been a very long day, indeed and I know we were both glad to see that last drip in my iv bag. Pastor Hobby stopped by as the last little bit of herceptin was dripping into my veins. What a good guy. Couldn't ask for a more caring and compassionate pastor. Funny, too. I am so blessed to have such wonderful people in my life. Don't take that for granted. Love hard, forgive often and laugh lots!

Day 1

Let me start by saying my 10 year old son Mikey came up with the title of my blog. Booby Doo vs the Cancer Monster is brilliant title for what I'm about to experience. Jan 14 began my journey. That was the day I had my routine mammogram. Later that week, I was called to come back in to have another because something showed up on the original mammogram. Long story short, I went in for an ultrasound, had the needle biopsy (lots of fun) right there and two days later was told I had breast cancer. Now, my doctor told me I had DCIS (ductal carcinoma in situ) and recommended a mastectomy. He said unless they found something else that they were not expecting, this should be all the treatment needed. Ok, I can deal with that. I had the surgery on 2/9/10 and reconstruction at the same time. A few weeks later I followed up with my surgeon and low and behold, an invasive tumor was found in the breast tissue that was not previously detected, so here I am on the eve of my first chemo treatment. I'm nervous about how this treatment is going to make me feel. I have accepted the fact that I will lose my hair, but being sick is not something I want to tackle. However, I know that this treatment is life saving and am grateful to have it available to me. So, if anyone is reading this and going through what I'm going through, you're not alone. Have faith and be strong. As my wonderful surgeon said to me when he told me about my diagnosis, "This will not do you in." Thanks Dr. Mosokwitz.