A Big Ol' Honkin' Pile of Dog Yakidge

I think the shower in the boy's bathroom is broken. This morning, when Johnathan got out of the shower, I hugged him "Good morning" and it smelled like he hadn't showered in a few days. When Mikey got out and, after getting dressed, he walked by me, it smelled like he hadn't showered in a couple of days. I asked Johnathan if he actually put the shampoo in his hair or just waved his hands over his head, hoping by osmosis that his hair would come in contact with the shampoo. "Of course", he said, "of course I washed my hair". It was as if I asked him if he had breathed today. After sniffing Mikey's head, I asked if any soap or shampoo came within 10 feet of him. Again, "of course, mom" was the obvious reply. Well, not so obvious to me. How can two boys who are both straight A students, smart, happy, healthy, be so stinky?? Trying to get Johnathan to actually wash his scalp is like trying to get a piece of popcorn out from underneath your dentures. (No, I don't have dentures.) It's almost impossible, but, again, healthy and happy boys.

I got up this morning about 6:15 and went into the bathroom to shower, turned on the water and walked into the closet where the hamper is for the dirty laundry. Suddenly, a strange odor began to penetrate my olfactory system, in other words, something stunk. I looked down at the carpet, and, yep, a big ol' honkin' pile of dog yackidge. The suffix idge comes from the Latin word meaning holy crap, what's that?? At preschool, when a child spills his or her juice the word "spillidge" echos throughout the fellowship hall. So, yakidge simply means puke. When we have a really big poop, it's "Clogidge" if the toilet won't flush. So, long story short, (I know, too late) I was steam cleaning the carpet in my closet this afternoon. No, I didn't leave the yakidge there all day, I picked up the huge mound this morning, but didn't have time to steam clean the carpet. After the carpet dries, I'll get down and do the sniff test to make sure it's clean. I know, gross, but who else is going to do it?? Ah, a mother's work is never done.

I'm still trying to figure out what to do with this purpose God has given me. I feel like I need to use this breast cancer for the greater good, but haven't quite figured out what it is I'm to do. So, it's an ongoing process. Maybe I'm just meant to badger women into getting their mammograms, who knows. If that's it, I'll accept it, but I think God gave me this big mouth for a reason. There's nothing worse than a Yankee living in the south with a big mouth and a purpose!!

Well, off to a meeting at church. Be kind to one another. You never know when you'll need someone to clean up some yakidge!