34, yes I counted!!

Here we are almost 6 weeks after my last chemo treatment and my hair is falling out more than it was a month ago! What's up with that?? There were 34 little head hairs (I say that because, well, there's no other hair to count...) in the tub this morning. The funny thing about it is, the hair that has held on and not fallen out is growing. That's the only hair that's growing. Weird. So, just for you, I'm posting a picture of me today. This is what I look like without my hat. Some of you have seen it, some not. Before you look, let me warn you...its not pretty! You might want to shield young children's faces. The writer of this blog is not responsible for nightmares.



Anyway, I go back on Monday for my next Herceptin treatment and hopefully they'll try giving it to me without the benedryl. If I don't have any kind of allergic reaction, they'll leave out the benedryl for good and I can drive myself to the treatments. Lori has been driving me each time and I just know she's getting pretty tired of it. She's that kind of person. Oh, grow up, I'm just kidding. She'll probably still go with me. It gives us an excuse to have lunch!

I'm still feeling pretty crappy. My hands are still swollen, but not my feet. I'm having stomach issues, but I'm lot losing weight and yes, the hot flashes are still there. Just be quiet and let me whine. I'll complain to anyone who'll listen! I ran into a sweet lady today at Walmart who is also a breast cancer survivor. We had a great chat and believe it or not, she is also Dr. Ayrons' patient. Whoda thunk that 2 of his patients would run into one another at, of all places, Walmart?

Anybody do for a mammogram? Just sayin'....

Be well my friends and enjoy your freedom. Not everyone can.

Auntie Lisa, I don't like that waterfall, I tell you!

I guess Booby Doo's 15 minutes of fame is over. No one has asked me for a new post! Anyway, things are ok here at the Medlin house. Johnathan is still seeing his eye doctor due to the injury he suffered playing stick ball next door. He still has some blood behind the eye and his eye pressure was really high last week, but has come down, thank God. We have another appointment on Friday, so I guess it's improving. Boy, I sure thought it would be all better by now.

Well, its been 5 weeks since my last treatment and I'm still feeling yucky. My hands are swollen, I'm tired and my muscles feel like I've just taken my first Pilate's class in a year. Sore, Sore, Sore. But, at least no fever and I'm not really sick, just sore and hot! No, not hot in a good way. Hot in, damn it's hot! It doesn't seem as though my hair has started to sprout yet. I'm waiting to see how much gray will come in. You know, being 32 and having gray hair already is so depressing. But, life goes on. Loreal, here I come.

I hope everyone stops once in a while and takes a good look around them to truly count their blessings. I might complain about how I feel these days, but I am so blessed to have so much in my life. I'm going to overcome this crap I'm going through, my boys are healthy and active, my husband has come through colon cancer, he's got a great job, health insurance, great friends and family, etc etc etc. I'm saying all this because I met a woman at Johnathan's last dr.'s appt whose husband has terminal brain cancer. They have 3 children, one of whom is only 2. She told me her story and I told her mine. How scary it must be to know your husband may not be here next month or even next week. I don't know his exact prognosis, but it isn't good. She really inspired me. Her husband is dying and she has a really good attitude. I guess you have to, for the kids. So, don't take your blessings for granted. God gives all of us what we need, and it's up to us to make the most out of our lives. Ok, enough mush. The boys and I went to the beach last week to see my sister and her family. Wait, Mikey just came over to me to tell me about his triumph on his PlayStation game and man oh man. Deodorant, anyone? I told him his pits were stinky, and his response?? "Oh yeah, I forgot to put on deodorant." WHAT?? FORGOT?? When you smell that bad without pit spray, you don't forget!!!! Back to the beach, so it was great to see them. We haven't seen them in 3 years and the kids have really changed. We arrived at mom's on Sunday and of course they hadn't seen me without hair. Sammy, my niece who is 5 was a little put off but when I brought out the gifts, she was all over me. I really enjoyed having a little girl to fuss over. I took her to the nail salon and she got her first mani/pedi. It was adorable. Joey who is 8 is so smart. But alas, he's the middle child and those of you who are middle children (I'm one of them) know how life can be. We are the forgotten. (He's not really forgotten so shut up and let me whine.) When I was growing up, my big brother Scott was the favorite of my grandmother because he was the only boy. My little sister Carrie was my parent's favorite because she was the baby. And then there was Lisa. Poor Lisa. Poor middle child Lisa. (yea, right, still dad's favorite) But, I digress. Joey is a joy and fun to be around. Christian, my godson is 15 and what a teenager. I still think he had a good time and was glad to see us. He's grown so fast. I wish I could keep him that little baby with the long lashes. But, they grow up. That's what they do. We all went to the beach on Monday. It must've been 163 degrees but the kids had fun. That's what was important. All we adults could do was complain to anyone who would listen. On Thursday we all went to the water park. My cousin Carla bought all the kids tickets for Christmas. We got there about 10:30 and stayed for 6 hours. The kids had a blast. Joey wasn't quite old enough to go off with the older kids so he got stuck with the adults and younger sister Sammy. So, being the fun Auntie Lisa, I took him down the Lazy River. Well, along the ride there are several areas that have water spouts and one huge water fall. We must've gone around 4 or 5 times together. If you've ever been down a lazy river, you know that you stick your big butt inside the tube and lay back and relax. Oh no, not Joey. We were in a double tube with me in the back. Yep, big butt and lopsided chest layed back, while Joey, middle child Joey walked and guided the tube down the lazy river. Every time we approached a water fall, he would look back at me and say, "Auntie Lisa, I don't like that water fall, I tell you." He would guide the tube so that it would be poor middle child Auntie Lisa getting pummeled with water instead of him. Oh how he giggled at that!! So, of course for the rest of our visit the key phrase was, "Auntie Lisa, I don't like that water fall, I tell you!" I think we made great memories for our kids last week. At least I hope we did. The point of this long, drawn out story is, take a look around and appreciate your blessings. Make memories for your children. Memories filled with fun and laughter. Don't be afraid to get silly and look silly. Who cares? Let 'em each ice cream for lunch once in a while. Who cares? Life is short, people. Have fun and make memories.

When does school start??

Yay, it's summertime! I remember saying those words when school was finally over. Not sayin' 'em anymore! Don't get me wrong, I love my boys more than life itself, however when all they do is bicker and fight, yeah, don't like 'em that much. You have to understand, my children are 13 months apart. No, we didn't plan it that way. Actually, we were trying to NOT get pregnant when Mikey came along. This is proof that indeed God has a sense of humor. He, the great I AM, blesses me with two boys, 13 months apart. Now, they're healthy, smart and good lookin' kids. They don't struggle in school (straight A's and all kinds of awards yesterday including the Presidential Award for academic excellence for Johnathan) and they are likable and friendly kids. However, they, pretty consistently will pick, nudge, aggravate and irritate each other to the point of utter insanity. I have come close to jumping off my roof just to get away from the "Stop!, Quit It, Leave Me Alone, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom!!!!!!!!!" But, summertime is for fun, relaxation and creating memories. So, I pledge to suck it up and let my boys be boys and back off a little. And if I can accomplish that, then pigs truly can fly. But boy oh boy do I remember summers in Walkersville. The carnival, the football field in Discovery, and of course the pool. We spent every waking minute at the pool. I have so many fun and fond memories of my childhood summers that I can only hope my boys create the same kind of memories. Many of you who will read this can relate to those memories of summertime in Walkersville. Oh, to be in middle school again!

Now, if anyone can tell me how to ease these blessed hot flashes I'm getting due to the chemo, I will give you my first born! Literally you could fry and egg on my head when the flashes come on. Please someone help me!!! Other than the flashes and still being a little tired I think I'm definitely on the mend. I'm not weak tired like I was during chemo, just sleepy tired because I'm up 1/2 the night with hot flashes!! I don't think I'm feeling any ill effects from the herceptin I'm taking, which is not a hormone blocker, it's some kind of antibody, I think. Anyway, Lisa's getting better each day.

I took Johnathan back to the eye doctor today and she seems to think it's getting better. He still has some blood sitting back behind the eye, but she said that could take 6 weeks to clear up. He's been cleared to go to the beach next week, just can't play sports. Nothing with balls (get it outta the gutter!) yet. So what a blessing that he didn't loose his sight and that it looks like he will make a full recovery.

We're off to the beach next week to meet up with my sister and her clan. Can't wait, we haven't seen the kids in about 3 years so we're so excited. We'll be staying with my cousin Carla and cousin Big Boy. That's the alpha male in her life. He's a cross between a Maltese and a German shepherd. Yes, you heard right. A Maltese and a German shepherd. Don't ask how that was accomplished (the dad was the Maltese, how did he reach????) but the result is Big Boy. The last time I stayed with Carla, I had an emergency appendectomy. Let's hope for an uneventful trip this time!!

Don't forget, Father's Day is next weekend. If you're thinking about getting dad a tie, don't.

I'll never think of rice the same way again.

Chemo's over but I still feel like I'm in chemo funk and it's been almost three weeks. Enough already. I actually got a nap today, though. First nap I've been able to take in months so I guess I'm on the upswing. Anyhow, Monday I go for my next treatment. Just herceptin, not chemo so hopefully I'll be bouncing back quickly. Speaking about bouncing, imagine having one cantaloupe on your chest and one deflated balloon filled with rice. Yeah, one bounces and the other doesn't move, I mean doesn't move. That'll be over soon. Then I'll have two that don't move!! Hurray! I guess my hair will start to grow back in a few weeks. I've lost a few eye brow hairs and a few eyelashes. My eyelashes are pretty long and I've been hoping and praying that I wouldn't lose them. I think if I continued with my treatment, I'd end up being bald as an egg. So, I keep telling my lashes to hold on and don't let go. They're doing pretty well, and I still have most of them. What would I do with all that Lancome mascara????

So, Thursday Johnathan comes running into the house with his hand over his eye, crying. He's telling me he was hit with a kick ball (you know the balls that you find in Walmart in those big bins) while he and Mikey were playing stick ball with the boys next door. So, being the compassionate mom I am, I tell him he's fine and to go back outside. Before he goes back out, I get out my old lady glasses and take a look. Holy crap, his beautiful big brown pupil is nothing but red blood. So, off to the ER we go. The triage nurse takes him into the hallway to have him read the eye chart. As he's holding his hand over the good eye, she's standing in front of him waving at him and he can't see her. Yeah, talk about scared. Here's my first born, the one I prayed to have for a year, blinded in one eye. So they decide to transfer us via ambulance to Levine Children's Center in Charlotte. Two hours pass and we find out there's a terrible accident in Shelby and all the EMT's are there. Evidently there was a high speed chase and a state trooper and pedestrian were both seriously injured. Finally we get our ambulance and off we go to Charlotte. Let me say, the doctors and nurses were wonderful. We waited in the exam room maybe 5 minutes before we had 2 nurses, a patient advocate, and 2 doctors examining Johnathan. Long story short, his vision was beginning to return because the blood covering his pupil had begun to be absorbed. They sent us home that night (Michael came home early from Raleigh) around midnight. Luckily Lori picked Mikey up from next door so he was taken care of. We went to the doctor yesterday for a follow up and it continued to improve. We went back to the doctor today and will go again tomorrow. Thank goodness for weekend hours. The doctor today said the first 3 days are the most critical. They want to make sure it doesn't start to bleed again. So, hopefully he will make a full recovery. But I guarantee he won't be the pitcher the next time the boys get together and play stick ball! According to Mr. Rusty, (father of the boy who hit the ball that hit Johnathan) the new rule is, when you pitch, you wear a helmet with face guard. So, you parents out there with kids who play baseball, or any kind of sport where there is a possibility of eye injury, be careful! Your child might look like a geek with a helmet on, but at least he'll be safe!!!

My sister and brother in law are driving in from San Antonio next week with the kids, (they have 3) so the boys and I will be joining them at mom and dad's at the beach. My only problem is what to wear to the pool and beach. Again, cantaloupe and rice filled, deflated balloon. Imagine that in a bathing suit.....prettttttty. Can't wait for my reconstruction to be finished. Anyone who has had this procedure knows what I'm talking about. My own child even said to me the other day, "Mom, your kinda lopsided." Unless I'm in a loose fitting t-shirt, I'm lopsided. Oh well, could be worse. I could be dead. And on that note, have a great day

Pizza, seriously??

So, once again, just to get attention, I decided to become neutropenic again last week and check myself into the hospital. Pastor Hobby asked me why I was in the hospital and I told him that I missed the food. Yea, well here's the story. Two weeks ago was treatment #4. Mom and I went to lunch on Wednesday and by Thursday I was once again on the couch. Dad was scheduled to come up the following Tuesday to take mom home since she had been here since my last hospital visit on the 10th. I got through the week with fatigue and low grade fevers. Monday rolls around and here we go again. The fever went up over 101 so into the doctor I go. They check my blood but not through my port (which is painless). It wasn't in a giving mood, so no blood. In the arm the needle goes. The reason I got the port is so I wouldn't have to be stuck in the arm each time. Anyhow blood looks good, white counts are where they're supposed to be so I'm sent home with antibiotics. Sherry my nurse said if the fever reaches 102.5 to call. Great. Home I go. I woke up on Tuesday with no fever but a pounding heart. By the way, Lori is in Disney at this point having the time of her life. I've told mom if she calls to lie and tell her I'm fine, which she did. Tuesday was spent on the couch monitoring my fever closely. Dad arrives about 2:00 and by the time mom got home at 3:15 from picking up the boys, my fever was back up to 102.5. I called the doctor and they told me to come in immediately. Long story short, blood work comes back and I'm neutropenic again and my blood pressure is up to 183 over 102. My heart rate is up to 123. Yep, back to the white house (which is what the doctor calls the hospital). I get into the room at 5:00 and by 5:30 I'm a little irritated that no one knows I'm here yet. At least no one came to the room to start IVs or anything. So, I buzz the nurse. By now it's 6:00 and mom has gone home to feed dad and the kids. The tech comes in the room and asks very sweetly, "What can I do for you?" Seriously??? I'm sitting here for an hour and no one has come in to start anything on me. Finally, the nurse comes in to draw blood for a culture on my port since it hasn't been giving blood. No go. No blood. They can't start fluids or antibiotics until my port is cultured to make sure there's nothing funky growing. So, I sit for another hour and a half and cute little Dustin comes into the room to take me for a chest xray. Mind you I've been in that room for over 2 1/2 hours and still have no fluid flowing into my sick little feverish veins. Not to mention I'm feeling really really crappy. So, down to xray. I swear it felt like I was being wheeled into the bowels of the hospital. Not to mention I've got to wear a surgical mask to reduce the risk of infection. Dustin parks me in the hallway outside the radiology room and tells me he'll be back to pick me up. Picture a 46 year old bald, feverish, no makeup, puffy faced, masked lump sitting in a wheel chair wrapped up in blankets with a pink Cowboys hat on. Now, if that's not pitiful, nothing is. A puppy stuck in a storm drain with half a tail and one eye wasn't as pitiful as me. So, as I'm sitting there in the hallway breathing 102.5 fevered breath into the Darth Vader mask they've given me to avoid germs, I hear the two radiology techs ordering pizza. For real, I'm in the hallway, and they're ordering pizza. Then, they start to discuss how much each will owe for the pizza. Yes, old baldy with the Vader mask is still in the hallway getting more and more irritated. Finally, one of the techs comes out in the hallway and says, "Mrs. Medlin?" Are you kidding me, who else would be sitting here breathing hot breath in the #$%#$ mask??? So, as politely as I could I said, "Hold on now, make sure you've got your pizza order in, I wouldn't want to get in the way of your dinner!" His reply to me was, "We're just glad we get to eat." Those of you who know me know what I could have said, but luckily for him, I didn't have the strength. After all of this, my IV was finally started at 10:40. So, after 5 hours and 40 minutes I had my first dose of antibiotics. Well, the next morning when Dr. Ayrons came in to see me, I had to tell him of my experience. Within 20 minutes I had the patient rep and the Director of Imaging Services in my room taking my statement. Now, let me explain. I'm a big fan of eating. I have nothing against it, but don't leave me sitting in the hallway breathing hot breath and just wanting to lay down while you get your dinner order straight. What they should have done is come into the hallway, tell me they'd be right with me and go in the closet and finish your dinner order so I don't have to hear it!!! Anyhow, the radiology department brought me a gift for my trouble. I was number one patient until I left on Friday. I guess they didn't want another butt chewing. It's great to have a doctor who will kick some butt for his patient. Thanks Dr. Ayrons!! Love the pictures! But, the most important thing about being sick last week is Dr. Ayrons told me that my last two treatments were cancelled!! My body just can't handle the chemo, so I'm finished!! Yay, no more chemo. I'll still be taking the herceptin until March but that's just a hormone blocker and won't make me sick. So, of course the first thing I did this morning was call my plastic surgeon to schedule my booby surgery!! Man, I'll be sportin' this summer.

So, that's where I've been. Mom was here and was once again a life saver. Those of you who have moms who will do anything for you, don't take that for granted. My mom lives 4 hours away and still drops everything and comes when I need her. What a blessing.

I can't believe school is out next week! What a year it's been. Oh, by the way, if anyone needs a couple of boys this summer, let me know!

Be well, my friends. Say something kind and unexpected to someone. It might just make their day.